-Right before the undertoe took my trunks. Oops. I’m a language freak and throughout my years as a nerdy freak I have studied Spanish, French, Polish, Basque and Ebonics. I’m pretty sure I’ve annoyed people with my freakish choice of studies, I mean, yeah, Spanish comes in handy and maybe even Ebonics, but Polish? I suppose I began to doubt the utility of such a language until one fateful night in December. I was drunk. The stripper was blonde. Poles are blonde. I ask her, hey are you Polish? And by fucking God she was. You know what this means right? Free lapdance. That was fun. Until I fell in love and told her that I could help her escape from this wretched lifestyle. So to all you haters out there, my language skills don’t just come in handy while gallivanting around Europe but also right down the street at Stage Door Johnny’s strip club where being a nerd really gets off, I mean pays off.